


Can You See the Colors of My Soul?

by musictomydamagedears



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Becca is not pregnant, Homophobic Language, M/M, Slow Burn, Soulmate AU, colorverse, new ham
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2020-06-25 07:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19740976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musictomydamagedears/pseuds/musictomydamagedears
Summary: In a world filled with color, most people were black and white from birth. The only way to see color permanently was to touch your soulmate. Of course, with a few exceptions. Sam Eliot was not one of those exceptions, he was just unlucky, at least according to himself. Gay, deaf, red hair? Who would ever be his perfect match? Who would ever want to be with him, who would be happy to get their colors if their first colored sight was him?Soulmate AU where you will receive colors once you touch your soulmate.





	1. Deafening Colors

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I have written this exact soulmate AU in two other fandoms, and I've fallen in love with it almost as much as I've fallen in love with The Society and with Grizzam, so I decided to combine it! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> If you are curious as to how the soulmates work, I have made a fictional pamphlet you can find here: https://samandgarebear.tumblr.com/post/186196955126/can-you-see-the-colors-of-my-soul-grizzam-au

Ever since he was 12, Sam Eliot had given up all hope of ever finding his soulmate. As if it wasn’t enough that he was gay, he was also deaf. Deaf, gay, red hair, and definitely forever alone. Who would ever want to be his soulmate? Even if he did find them, there was probably a huge chance that they would want to break their bond.

Up until middle school, Sam had positively been obsessed with the ideas of soulmates. Obsessed with the idea of finding someone to give him his colors, and to have a bond so strong that nothing else would ever be able to compare. He had seen it in his parents, he had seen it in so many couples around him, and he couldn’t wait to meet his soulmate. To touch them and know that they were perfect for him.

His long-time best friend, Becca, however, had always had a more negative approach to the whole idea.

“I’m fine with being colorblind,” Becca signed to him, one night at a sleepover when they were both 11. “Like, imagine if I ended up with someone like Campbell!”

Sam giggled at his thought but shook his head before signing back to her.

“No! Your soulmate shares your soul-structure, you are designed to be perfect for each other! I would love to meet mine, getting my colors.”

“You already have color lenses while everyone else is stuck with glasses, you’re lucky,” Becca insisted, motioning to her own glasses. All newborns got glasses with built-in color specters, and even though the colors the glasses provided was nothing like the colors you’d see when you first meet your soulmate, it was an effective way to teach children colors and view the world differently.

Sam, however, was provided with special lenses when he was nine. The glasses would usually lower your ability to see, and the doctors had concluded that lenses would probably be a better option for sam going forward, as they usually affected his eye-sight less, and he already had troubles with his hearing.

“It’s so that I can read people’s lips better,” Sam explained to her for what felt like the 100th time. He would rather have glasses as to not stick out even further from the crowd. The only other person he knew who didn’t have glasses at their age was Harry Bingham, who had extremely wealthy parents who bought him lenses the day he got old enough. “Why do you hate soulmates so much?”

“I-” Becca started signing, then shook her head. “I’ll tell you one day, when we’re older.”

Six years later, and Becca still hadn’t told him. But Sam had started to be a bit more sceptical to the idea himself. Only a couple of weeks after his and Becca’s conversation about the subject, a few days after his birthday, Campbell had ruined it for him. Ruined it just like he ruined everything else.

Campbell was one of the other reasons Sam was provided with lenses, it was so that his older brother wouldn’t be able to just pick them off his face and break them, like he used to do with the glasses. Sam wasn’t stupid, he knew Campbell had issues, that he didn’t have boundaries, and that he didn’t mean to be like that. He still despised him for it.

Once Sam was old enough to start signing, Campbell had learned too, to be able to speak with his little brother. But as Sam got more attention from his parets, Campbell fought harder for it, and he stopped signing all-together, pretty much only using it to insult him or to use bad words. Both a blessing and a curse, in Sam’s opinion. Because of his brother, he was already good at lip-reading at 10. Because of his brother, he started hating himself.

He was pretty sure he had always known he was gay. Of course, he’d always thought that Becca was pretty, but never pretty. Boys were pretty. But then Campbell found out, and then the entire school found out. And since then, he’d never been able to see anything positive about his chances of finding his soulmate.

The jocks and the popular kids were constantly telling him that a deaf and ugly fag would him would never find his soulmate. No one’s soul would be fucked up enough to match up with him. And even if he did find his soulmate, they would never want to be with him. And once people tell you that enough times, you start believing in it. Just like Sam did.

The only people he had told before Campbell had told everyone was Becca, his parents, and his cousins Allie and Cassandra. They had all taken it so well, that Sam had almost forgotten how homophobic the town he lived in could be up until suddenly everyone knew.

Now, at 17, Sam was certainly more sure of himself in some aspects of his life. Yes, the football team was still bullying him, and yes, Campbell still hated him. But at least now he knew who his real friends were, and he knew that they would always be there for him no matter what. Most of them even knew how to sign, if not fluently, at least enough to have the conversation flowing easily with a mixture of signing and lip-reading.

Becca waved a hand in front of his face, making him look briefly around the cafeteria before looking up at her. It was lunch break, and they had just finished up with their homework, and apparently Becca was trying to start up a conversation with him.

“You zoned out,” she signed. “Are you excited for the school trip? To the mountains?”

“And get away from the smell? Yeah,” Sam signed back, chuckling slightly. The smell had been gone for a day or so now, but he had a feeling that it wouldn’t be long until its return. “Today is the last day to see the school play. Join me?”

“Harry and Cassandra have the main roles?” Becca asked him, and Sam knew where this was going. He nodded, and Becca bit her lip in thought before signing again. “You want to spend time in the same room as Harry voluntarily? He’s mean to you.”

“Please, Becca,” he begged, wanting to do something social for once. “I promised Allie.”

“Fine,” Becca rolled her eyes at him. “Because I love you. And you owe me.”

“I do,” he agreed, smiling up at her. Becca looked up at the clock, and Sam suspected that lunch break was over.

“That was the lunch bell,” she signed to him, confirming his thoughts. “What’s your next class?”

“AP English lit.,” Sam signed with a grin. He liked that class. There weren’t too many people, and they usually read some really great stuff.

“See you at the school play,” Becca smiled, hugging him before walking away. He smiled to himself as he walked down the hallways down to his English class, minding his own business when he felt someone shove him into a locker. He looked up to see one of the football players, Clark, signing the word ‘faggot’ to him. Sam sighed, picked himself up from the floor and lifted his shirt slightly away from his hip to see the damage. It had scraped against something, and he could see some of his skin starting to tear away. Fuck those guys.

Deciding that Clark wasn’t worth his time or effort, he continued walking to class, hoping that the slight limp he got from having his hip hit the wall at an awkward angle wasn’t too visible. The last thing he needed was for people to notice him more.

As he walked into class, he could see the teacher frowning slightly at him, and his interpreter quickly asked him if he was okay. Sam lied, telling the interpreter that he fell, sitting down at his desk in the front of the classroom.

Kelly, Harry’s girlfriend, walked up to him and sat down next to him.

“Are you okay?” she asked, making sure that Sam would be able to read her lips. Sam nodded, starting to sign and speak aloud at the same time.

“Yes, I fell in the hallway. Thank you for asking.”

Kelly didn’t look too convinced, and Sam briefly wondered why she still put up with Harry. They were so incredibly different, but at the same time, Sam knew that Kelly had a side to her that was self-centered and spoiled, and when she showed that side to the world? They were perfect for each other.

“Okay,” she nodded. “Can I sit here? This seat’s usually empty, right?”

“Yeah, you can sit,” Sam nodded. Sometimes, Gareth ‘Grizz’ Visser would sit there, if Helena wasn’t in the class, but he could see the two already sitting down in the back of the classroom. As he turned to look at them, he noticed that Grizz immediately looked away from him, as if he had been staring. Part of Sam wanted to confront him about it, ask him why he was staring, but the other more rational part of him knew that the other boy had never actually been violent towards him. As far as Sam could remember, he didn’t even think Grizz had ever told him off for being gay, but that might just be wishful thinking. Wishful thinking that at least one of them had more than one brain cell.

The rest of the day went by without any further problems, and he decided to stay at school to wait for the show rather than to go home. There was no point in going home to Campbell’s tormenting if he didn’t have to.

He wasn’t the only one who had decided to wait, quite a few others were in the library with him, including Grizz, Helena and Luke. Of course they were watching, if Harry was playing. Sam didn’t know why he was surprised, but he was surprised to see the three of them just sitting in the library calmly, without even as much of a glare towards him.

When it was finally time for the play to begin he made his way over to the auditorium, meeting his parents outside. His parents smiled at him, asking him if he was okay and if he wanted them to interpret the play for him.

“Yes, please,” he signed, telling them that Becca would be there too, and that she could probably also help interpreting for him if they got tired.

“Okay,” his mother smiled. “Should we save her a seat?”

“That would be good,” Sam nodded, waiting to see if she could see her. “You go inside, I’ll come in with Becca.”

His mother smiled and rubbed his arm, and if she had noticed the slight awkward limp in his step, she didn’t comment on it. He was kind of grateful that she didn’t, because he knew that she didn’t ask because she didn’t care. She didn’t ask because Sam had asked her to stop. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he didn’t want to tell her what happened and concern her either. It was just easier if she didn’t ask.

While waiting for Becca, he noticed Grizz looking over at him, catching his eyes every now and then. The taller boy was handsome, very handsome. Intelligent too. If he hadn’t been such a jock and a part of Harry’s crew, Sam could even see himself sort of crushing on him. As their eyes met for the fifth time, Sam was almost about to smile or wave at him or something, but someone grabbed his arm, and he turned around to see Becca standing behind him.

“My parents are inside,” he signed, smiling at her. “They saved us seats.”

“That’s nice,” she signed back, taking his arm and walking inside with him. They watched the play, stayed in their seats during the break, but unlike most of the students, they did not stay behind after the curtains closed. Becca told Sam that she could hear someone talking about a party at Harry’s house, but luckily for him, he knew that none of them were interested in partying.

“Is it just me,” Sam started signing, scrunching up his face. “Or has the smell returned?” he asked his friend, as they were walking back to his house. Becca stopped briefly, inhaled through her nose, then turned back towards him.

“No, it’s definitely back. Not as bad as before,” she started signing, and as she had signed the last word, there was this sudden hit of air, making the smell more pungent and nauseating. “Forget it. Just as bad. Let’s hurry inside.”

She grabbed his hand, and then they ran to his house together, both of them trying to inhale as little as possible. The smell was horrid, and Sam had never been more grateful that he was going on a school trip the next day.

“Want to come in?” he signed as they stopped at his door, but Becca told him that she had to go home and finish packing for their trip. He could understand that, he hadn’t fully packed himself, so he just smiled and hugged her, then thanked her for coming along to the play.

The next day, when he woke up, he made sure to go over all of his stuff in his bag once more, before going downstairs to his parents. He could smell the pancakes all the way up to his room, so he joyfully walked to the kitchen, saying good morning to them.

He knew that his father had had a hard time with him, accepting that he was gay, and knowing that he would never be able to hear. But he also knew that his father loved him, and that he tried as hard as he could. So when he clumsily signed good morning back to him, Sam couldn’t do anything but smile.

“Ready to leave?” his mom signed, and Sam nodded with a grin.

“Very ready,” he said, or at least tried to say. His mom was his biggest support when it came to learning ASL, but also when it came to learning how to pronounce words. He knew he sounded horrible, but his mom was never afraid to help him learn, and she did it with such a natural ease. “I have packed everything I need.”

“That’s great, I’m not so sure about your brother,” she said with a small smile, obviously aware that their relationship wasn’t so great. “He came home late last night, very drunk. I don’t think he has packed anything yet.”

“That’s too bad for him,” Sam signed, making it clear that he wasn’t in the mood to talk about Campbell, and much less help him pack.

“I guess,” his mom shrugged. “I’ll go and wake him up. Eat your breakfast.”

Sam and his father ate without any communication, but Sam didn’t blame him. His father usually spoke too fast for him to read his lips, and when Sam asked him to slow down, he would always ask him to forget it. At least he tried to sign every now and then.

A couple of hours later, and he was standing in front of the school, saying goodbye to his parents.

“Remember toothbrush?” his dad signed, and Sam smiled, telling him that he had remembered, telling them both goodbye and telling his mother that he loved her and that he’d stay safe. Once he said goodbye, he walked over to Campbell, telling him that their dad had asked if they remembered toothbrushes.

Campbell rolled his eyes at him, and started signing normally, but instead just showed him the finger before walking away. Sam just shrugged, signing “okay” to himself before giving his bag to the bus driver who was loading the bus, then walking inside to find Becca.

They talked for most of the trip, but Sam felt unbelievably tired, and it didn’t take too long for him to fall asleep.

He woke up from his sleep when the bus jolted to a stop, and he looked around in confusion. Becca tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

“I think we’re back home,” she signed, and Sam frowned.

“You think so?”

“Yeah,” Becca nodded, and Sam looked around again, then got up from his seat to get out of the bus. As if it wasn’t enough that they were back home, there were no parents there to pick them up either. He stuck to Becca’s side the entire time, wanting to have an interpreter in case something important was said.

The buses all left after just a couple of minutes, and Sam could see people trying to call their parents. Apparently, no one answered, because people were seemingly very distressed. Sam looked over at his brother, and he just managed to read his lips as he spoke.

“Well, I’m going home,” Campbell said, and Sam briefly panicked. What? Was he just leaving him? He grabbed his shoulder, making him turn around.

“You’re not going to wait for me?” he asked, hoping to not come across as scared as he felt. However, Campbell just laughed at him and brushed his hand off before walking away. Sam turned to Becca, trying to find out what to do.

“I’ll walk you home,” she said, and Sam kind of hated that she was the brave one, but at the same time, he knew he was very lucky to have her. As much as he hated the truth, being deaf, being queer. It was a huge disadvantage, especially alone at night.

“Thank you,” he signed, and they started making their way back. They walked this road home from school every day, even if it was a small detour for Becca. Sam truly didn’t know what he’d do without her.

Once he got home, he tried to find his parents, but when he couldn’t find them, he tried to rationalize his thoughts. They were probably just evacuated because of the smell. They would come back, everything was fine. He was not stuck at home alone with Campbell. Right?

However, it didn’t take him too long to find out that he didn’t have any internet either. No wi-fi, no data. Apparently, it didn’t take long for the others to figure out either, because suddenly, a hundred different messages popped up in their group chat. People were saying that they couldn’t find their parents, that they didn’t have data, that they couldn’t find their pets, and Sam was suddenly very afraid.

Not long after, he got a message that he assumed was from Cassandra, telling everyone to meet outside of the school, where they got dropped off from the buses in twenty minutes. Not even two seconds after that message came in, he received another one.

**Becca: I’m at your house in 7 minutes**  
**Sam: I’m scared**  
**Becca: I know**  
**Becca: Don’t be**  
**Becca: You’ll be alright**  
**Sam: You’re not the one living with Campbell**  
**Becca: 5 minutes, Sam.**

Sam walked downstairs to wait for her outside, and sure enough, in a bit less than 5 minutes, Becca was there. They walked back again, and since they arrived a bit early they had to wait for most people to arrive.

“Grizz asked who wanted a flashmob, Cassandra said she did, Grizz seems unhappy,” Becca signed to him as she listened to the people around, doing the best she could to interpret the conversations. Sam followed her movements, making sure to not miss anything.

“No one has reached anyone,” she signed again, this time a slight frown on her face. Sam bit his lower lip. No one? Absolutely no one?

“We’re fucked, aren’t we?” he signed.

“No, no, Cassandra’s speaking. 1 minute,” Becca signed for him to wait, listening to Cassandra and some others speak for a couple of minutes. Sam waited impatiently, not liking to be the only one who couldn’t understand anything.

“Cassandra thinks evacuation, people disagree. She said they could be asleep, or maybe they don’t have reception,” Becca signed, and Sam once again watched her carefully. “She invited everyone who doesn’t want to be alone to their house.”

Apparently, there was also going to be a party, and for once, Sam didn’t want to miss out.

“We should join the party,” he said, and even though it took a bit of convincing, Becca eventually decided to join too. It wasn’t often that Sam joined parties, and most of the times he didn’t drink enough to get drunk, but this time he wanted to really drink enough to feel it. To feel like someone else and as if everything was going to turn out alright, even if just for a night.

So he drank, mostly by himself on one of the church benches. Becca apparently wasn’t too keen on joining in, and when he just briefly asked her about it while she was filming everything going on, she just walked away. Sam decided not to care too much about it though, taking another swig from his beer. What he loved the most about teenage parties was that the music was loud enough for him to feel the vibrations of the bass, and he slowly started to dance along with Allie and Will, drinking some more beer.

After about an hour or so of dancing, he decided to return home, so he got up, stumbling into someone on the way. He mumbled sorry, but didn’t look up to see who the person he just bumped into was. Right afterwards, however, something felt different. But Sam couldn’t figure out exactly what it was. Everything was just normal, but at the same time it wasn’t. Shit, he was too drunk to think about it.

He made his way home, stumbling through the dark and thinking about how fucked up everything was, and trying to figure out the unfamiliar feeling that was now pulling at his chest. However, once he actually got home and was in his bedroom, all worries were gone, because how good and tempting didn’t his bed look right now?

Before going to bed, he made sure to remove his contacts, and Sam couldn’t help but want to giggle a little. He must be very drunk, because apparently he was still seeing colors without his lenses. Shaking his head at the sheer impossibility of that, he went to bed, falling asleep within seconds.

He woke up from his phone vibrating against his face, a recognizable pattern. Someone was calling him. Why? Surely they knew that he couldn’t hear them on the phone, but once he picked up the phone, without checking the caller-ID, they hung up on him, and he frowned at his phone in confusion until he received a text from Allie, asking him to meet up at the church.

Sam frowned, he was pretty sure that he took out his lenses last night, didn’t he? Then why was the bubbles on his screen in different colors? Why weren’t they grey? Instinctively, he touched his eye. No lense. That’s when his mind cleared up and he looked at his room, taking in the colors that were suddenly flowing his vision and overwhelming him. How? Why? How were they so bright?

Oh, shit.

Sam’s realization suddenly set in. Somehow, last night, he met his soulmate. How? What the fuck? No, that wasn’t possible, was it? When his phone vibrated once again, he got shaken out of his thoughts, and he looked down to see yet another text from Allie.

**Allie: Hey, Sam, sorry for calling, I wanted to wake you up**  
**Allie: Can you please meet at the church?**  
**Allie: We’re discussing shit**  
**Allie: Please**

Deciding that he could use the distraction, Sam hastily put on some clothes and made his way to the church. He didn’t see why he couldn’t do that. Besides, maybe Allie had heard something else about someone meeting their soulmate.

The worst part about this? Sam couldn’t pinpoint who he’d never touched before that he’d touched last night, nor could he figure out when it had happened. However, someone else must have gained their colors too, so he supposed he’d figure it out pretty soon. Right?

Anyway, he decided to text Becca, asking her to meet up in an hour, as he had something important to tell her.

Once at the church, it was apparent that the only thing they were discussing was theories about what had happened, and Cassandra and Harry who was arguing about who should take control, and about what they should do. Allie did her best to keep Sam up to speed about their conversation, but it didn’t take long before the two started a conversation for themselves.

“I think Luke, Harry and the boys are driving to Greenwich to find people,” Allie signed to him.

“Do you notice it?” Sam suddenly interrupted her, frowning as he looked around.

“Notice what?” Allie signed back.

“The smell. It’s gone,” Sam said, and Allie looked around for a bit before turning to him again.

“You’re right. It is gone. What does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Sam shrugged. “Hopefully, nothing bad.”

Sam felt as if he constantly had to add things to his list of things to worry about. He had never thought he’d worry about the lack of that pungent smell, but here he was. Worrying about it.

His phone vibrated in the pocket of his pants, and he picked it up to look at it.

Becca: Come to my house whenever you want, are you okay?  
Sam: I’ll be there soon.  
Sam: I’m fine, I think.

“I have to go,” Sam told Allie, telling her that he had plans with Becca, and that she’d see her later.

Allie smiled, nodding and saying that she would text him some updates if she heard anything else about this. Sam thanked her, then started walking towards Becca’s house, for once taking the shorter route that didn’t go past his own house.

It didn’t take long before he arrived, and he rang the doorbell before walking inside. He knew Becca, and if she was in her bedroom, she was too lazy to go downstairs to open the door, and Sam obviously couldn’t hear her shout anything.

He walked up to her room, smiling to himself as he noticed that he was right. Looking around, he had never noticed that Becca actually had a lot of colors in her room. Probably more than Becca herself was aware of.

“Becca,” Sam sat down on her bed. “Can you please tell my why you hate soulmates? You said you would tell me when we were older. We are older.”

Becca looked a bit taken aback by his choice of subject, but still nodded along. Sam could see her take deep breaths, before starting to sign to him.

“Do you remember when my aunt died?” she asked him, and Sam nodded, motioning for her to continue. “She bonded. To a married man. He got so mad, he didn’t want to leave his family. So he broke their bond, and if someone breaks your bond, and you don’t want to. That’s dangerous. You can die. That’s what she did. She died because she wasn’t good enough. Because he didn’t want her.”

Sam looked at her sympathetically, but he still didn’t get why that made Becca hate soulmates in general.

“I loved her, and seeing someone I love destroy themselves completely because of one other person? It’s bullshit, one person shouldn’t be able to have that much to say in anyone’s life. Do you want to know the best part? Her soulmate fucking showed up to her funeral. With his wife!”

“That is really bad,” Sam frowned, taking one of Becca’s hands in his own, signing with the other at the same time as he spoke. “I’m sorry that happened to your aunt. To you.”

“Yeah,” Becca wiped a tear from her eye. “It just sucks, I don’t want anyone to control my life that much. What if you get bonded to someone violent? Someone abusive? It won’t be easy to just run away. You’ll hurt yourself in the process.”

Sam was about to start signing something, when his phone vibrated, and he could see Becca reaching for her phone as well. Sam frowned as he saw that Campbell was the one to have sent them something, but when he actually opened the message, his heart stopped.

“We’re trapped,” he said, signing along with his words, unable to tear his eyes from his phone. They were trappen. He was trapped in there, with a bunch of homophobic people. And his soulmate. His soulmate would also have to be a homophobe, or a girl, and he didn’t know what would be worse.

Becca waved her hand in between Sam and his phone, making him look up at her.

“Maybe we’re trapped,” she signed. “But are going to find out what happened. Let’s listen for more updates, and then we can go, I don’t know where, but somewhere. Somewhere we can find something out.”

“Okay, if you want to do that, we can do that,” Sam nodded, trying not to focus on his phone. Trying not to focus on the fact that he was probably going to die soon just because of his currently unknown soulmate unless some sort of miracle was about to happen.

“Thank you,” Becca smiled at him, then bit her lip. “You said you had to tell me something important.”

Sam nodded, closed his eyes for a second before re-opening them, just to be sure that he hadn’t somehow been fooling himself. Nope, still colors. More vibrant than ever.

“Yesterday, at the party, I wore my lenses, and I bumped into a lot of people,” Sam started telling her, and he could tell from her face that she was starting to figure out what road he was going down. “A lot of people.”

“Okay?” Becca signed back, looking at him hesitantly.

“Today I woke up with colors,” Sam admitted, trying to fight back the tears. “I don’t know who it is, and I’m scared. Everyone are either straight, homophobic, or girls.”

“Wait,” Becca signed, her jaw dropping open. “You bonded to someone, and you don’t know who?”

“No,” Sam shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Do you have any ideas, any thoughts?” she asked him, and when Sam shook his head once again, his best friend wrapped her arms around him, letting him go briefly to sign something.

“I’ll help you find out, we’ll do this together,” Becca assured him, smiling at him. She got up from her bed and grabbed a pen and a notebook, handing them to Sam. “Okay, let’s start writing a list of people here you’ve never touched before.”

“I don’t know,” Sam frowned, picking up the pen and starting to write a couple of names.

_Elle_  
_Gordie_  
_Mickey_  
_Lexie_  
_Blake_

“Any on the football team? Jason, Shoe, Clark? Grizz?” Becca signed to him, looking over his currently very short list. “Gordie wasn’t at the party, you can scratch him.”

“No,” Sam shook his head. “The football team have all shoved me.”

“What about Greg Dewey?” Becca frowned at him, thinking about all the people at school. Sam thought about it, but shook his head. They had bumped into each other in the hallway during his freshman year, and the other boy had glared so bad at him that Sam had felt like hiding from him the rest of the day.

“No, impossible, we’ve touched,” Sam shook his head. He could feel his phone going off with a notification, so he turned his attention towards that for a bit, hoping that Allie had some sort of update for him.

**Allie: I’m sure you’ve seen Campbell’s picture. Luke and Grizz have gathered a group who’s going to hike through the woods. Kind of like a search party. We’ll figure this out! x**

He read the text before showing it to Becca, finally not feeling as lost and hopeless about the whole being trapped in West Ham thing. Becca read through the text, then signed to him that they could worry about that later, that they should finish up the list first.

“Okay, but realistically, it’s most likely a boy, right?” she asked, and Sam nodded, trying to think of this logically. “It could be a senior we’re not thinking of.”

“Could be, yeah. Don’t think so,” he sighed, trying to come up with more names. They sat there for several hours, going through all the people in school that were stuck here with them. Eventually, the list had grown from seven people to over thirty, and Sam was feeling slightly overwhelmed. How on earth was he supposed to figure this out?

“Hey, should we go see if we can find some papers on this? See if we can find any explanations?” Becca asked him once they were done with the list. It was now dark outside, and Sam realized that he must have been there awhile already. He nodded, following her to the city hall in hope of finding something, anything there.

“I want to know why we’re here,” Becca said as she browsed through some photos and papers on the desk in front of her. Sam had sat himself on a shelf, letting her talk and be frustrated. “Why? And why this place is exactly like home? And the lights still go on? And our cell phones still work.”

Sam thought about it for a second before shrugging.

“What if there is no why?” he signed, looking at her. “What if it just is?”

“No, I don’t accept that,” Becca told him, and Sam noticed her getting slightly more frustrated for each second passing. “We’ve been kidnapped. Or rescued, or something. I mean, there’s a..”

Mid-sentence Becca both turned away from him and stopped signing, making it really hard for him to understand what she was saying, so he hit the box in front of him to grab her attention. Becca looked up from the paper she was now holding.

“I can’t hear you,” Sam signed, reminding her that she had to either talk clearly enough for him to read her lips, or sign as she spoke. Becca put down the paper, walked a bit closer to him, and slowed down as she signed at the same time.

“People don’t just disappear,” she signed, speaking at the same time he assumed.

“Apparently they do,” Sam signed back. “You go missing, you go deaf for no reason, you just get bonded to someone you don’t even know. You’re looking for answers. There are none. Doesn’t this prove that?”

“No,” Becca shook her head, the frustration in her eyes even more prominent. “No, I don’t accept that. You know what? Something happened yesterday.”

With that, she sank back in the chair behind the desk. Sam wondered how their roles got switched up, how he suddenly was the one to comfort her. He assumed that they probably were just as afraid, but that they both wanted to be strong for each other. Becca picked up her phone, and as far as Sam could see, she was browsing through her photos.

“I have to find out why,” she said. “Just like we have to find out who your soulmate is.”

They stayed around for a while, looking but not finding much. Some hours into their search they both got a text from Helena telling everyone to meet inside the church, no explanation why except that it was Luke who had asked them to meet up.

With a small sigh, Becca got up and started heading out, Sam following her. This was new to everyone, and Sam had no idea how 200 teenagers were supposed to control an entire town. God he hoped that Luke and his search party had managed to find something.

At church, Sam didn’t really follow anything of what was said too much. Becca tried to catch him up on some of the stuff that was being said, but she seemed too upset to interpret everything for him. Sam couldn’t blame her. He couldn’t expect that of her.

Cassandra started taking charge, started telling them that they couldn’t just take things, and that there was no longer a civilization in West Ham. Not until they started one. Harry and Cassandra started a small argument about who was going to lead, they were some disagreements, and then Sam’s world froze. He couldn’t hear it, but he could feel the vibrations, feel the people around him freeze in terror. A gunshot. He flung himself down to the ground, throwing his arm around Becca and making sure to drag her along with him. No fucking way she was getting shot.

He hesitantly looked up to see who shot the gun, and as much as he had wanted to be surprised at what he saw, he wasn’t. It was Campbell. Holding a gun and pointing it towards Cassandra. Pointing it towards their cousin. Of course, Sam knew that Campbell didn’t like her. Cassandra was possibly the only person Campbell disliked more than he disliked Sam, for some reason. Sam didn’t really get it, but he supposed that Campbell didn’t like people with different opinions than his.

The minutes seemed to tick by very slowly, and Sam was terrified. Terrified that his cousin was going to be killed, and even worse, that his own brother was going to be the killer. Then it stopped. Campbell drew his gun, and Sam let out a breath of relief as his brother spoke something he couldn’t catch.

He looked over at Becca who tried signing everything to him with shaking hands. Campbell wanted to get everyone’s attention, telling everyone that was tired of listening to Cassadra’s ‘bullshit’ to follow him out of the church to return when Luke came back.

At the exact moment they all started heading out the church, the doors opened. Sam could see Grizz and another boy leading the group inside, walking to the sides to reveal Luke. Not just Luke, though. Luke and Emily, the girl lying completely still in his arms. Sam swallowed harshly.

They were stuck here, they were getting killed, and Sam was bonded to someone here. Someone who would definitely eventually lead to Sam’s own death. _Fuck._


	2. Burning Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if everything else going on wasn't enough, Campbell has kicked Sam out of his house, and he still has no idea who his soulmate is. This could honestly not get any worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your positive response to my first chapter! I'm going to try to follow the show as much as possible, but obviously I will have to change some things.

Sam helped clear the table for Emily as Luke approached them, making sure that every single can was removed. It was such a shame, seeing her lying on a table surrounded by empty cans and cups. He watched her for a while, but then he decided to walk over to her, touching her shoulder before bringing his fingertips up to his lips and back down. A “thanks”. 

He stepped back to make room for others, then started to walk out of the church. He wanted to go home, to relax, and to just shut his brain off for a few seconds. There was no way he would be able to do that here. As he was on his way out, his brother grabbed his arm.

“Hey,” Campbell said, signing as he spoke on. “Don’t come home tonight.”

“It’s my house too,” Sam signed, he was a bit confused but he wasn’t about to step down. Campbell wasn’t about to have that sort of power over him. 

“Ever since you were born, I never had just one day that was mine, until now,” Campbell kept signing, he then stopped signing before speaking on. “Alright, give me the key. You little fag.”

The last word was signed, and even if Campbell used that sign often, it still hurt him. Still made him feel hopeless and worthless.

“No,” Sam said, protesting. There was no way he was going to let Campbell win this. He kept on walking, but Campbell grabbed his neck harshly, once again telling him to give him the key. It hurt, it was so painful. Sam eventually just gave up, fishing his keys out of his pockets, and reluctantly giving Campbell his house key. He shoved Campbell out of the way and forced himself out of his grip, continuing to make his way out of the church. He hated his brother.

He ended up waiting for Becca outside, having nowhere else to go. When Becca eventually came outside together with everyone else, he told her about the incident with Campbell. Sam could swear she could see her wanting to walk over and punch his brother, but he was grateful that she didn’t.

“You know you’re always welcome to stay with me,” she signed. “But I was thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” Sam signed, prompting her to continue when she hesitated.

“I don’t like being all alone in that big house, and I know that with you it wouldn’t be as lonely,” Becca looked at him as she spoke and signed. “But I was thinking of asking Allie and Cassandra to move in with them. Do you want to do that too?”

“We wouldn’t have to cook as much,” Sam joked, thinking back to all the times he and Allie had talked about Will and that he apparently was a great cook. “No, that would be great.”

“That’s actually very true,” Becca smiled at him, then put her arms in front of her, palms facing up and wiggling her fingers. ‘Wait’. Then she took off, and Sam suspected it was to find either Allie or Cassandra.

When she eventually returned with both sisters, Sam realized that he had been right.

“I can’t believe Campbell did that. Of course you can live with us,” Cassandra signed to him. “But don’t you need your stuff?”

“I have back-up stuff at Becca’s,” he told her. As Campbell’s bullying progressed, he spent more and more nights at her house anyway, so he had spare clothes there, a toothbrush, and everything else he would need.

“Okay,” Allie smiled softly at him. “We’ll get the rest of your stuff from your house tomorrow. Now, let’s go to Becca’s house, start moving.”

Eventually, Will decided to join them, so the five of them walked to Becca’s house to get everything she would need to move, including all of Sam’s stuff. He could see that it was hard on Becca, effectively stripping her room for everything that was important to her, but he supposed she would feel more welcome at the Pressman house with her things there.

Once they arrived at the house, Cassandra looked at all of them.

“So, we have five rooms,” she told them, looking at them. “Four big, one small. Eventually, we will have to figure out how to share them. Bean and Gordie told me that they eventually want to move in too.”

“Girls and boys?” Allie suggested, making most of them scrunch their noses a little. “At least eventually, when Bean and Gordie have moved in?”

“What if,” Becca signed. “We decide together with Bean and Gordie when they get here, rather than assume what they want. I just know I’d prefer to share with Sam.”

“Yeah, that’s smart,” Sam signed, deciding to join their conversation. He didn’t like being left out, and he knew that he actually wasn’t since they were all signing as they spoke, but he still felt like it was harder to join a conversation for him than for others. “We can share.”

“Great, then that’s all solved! Is there anyone who volunteers to take the small room?” Cassandra looked at all of them.

“I can take it,” Will volunteered, smiling at them. Sam raised his brows in surprise, he hadn’t actually expected anyone to volunteer. Usually, when he and Campbell used to sleep over at their cousins’ house, he was just forced into the smaller room by his older brother, so he was honestly expecting that to happen once again. 

“Okay, uhm,” Cassandra swallowed, looking around. “Sam, you know where our large guest room is, so just put your stuff there. Becca, I’ll show you where our parents’ room is. Was, I mean.”

Becca looked guilty, and Sam could understand it. He wouldn’t want to take someone’s parents’ room either. Especially not his aunt and uncle’s. He knew that he would probably have to move in there eventually though, when Bean and Gordie showed up. However, he just nodded, grabbing his stuff and walking up to the room they were talking about. He could see some of Will’s stuff already there, but the other boy walked upstairs right behind him. 

Will was trying to tell him something, but Sam found it difficult to read his lips, a combination of mumbling and talking too fast he guessed.

“You have to slow down,” Sam told him, smiling at him. “I can’t read your lips.”

“Oh, sorry,” Will smiled foolishly at him. “I just said that I’m moving my stuff after I’ve helped Becca.”

“Okay, thanks,” he smiled back at him. “And thank you for taking the small room. It was very nice.”

“No problem, man.”

With that, the other boy was already out the door. Sam sighed, looking around the room. He figured that it probably wouldn’t be necessary for him to think about decorating the room any. It wouldn’t be too long until he had to move in with Becca anyway.

The next couple of days went by without too much happening. They got all of his stuff from his house, but that was about it. Sam hadn’t noticed anything about his soulmate situation yet, and he suspected that Becca was a lot more worried than he was about the whole thing. At least for now. 

After four days of living at Allie and Cassandra’s, Bean and Gordie moved in with them as well. Sam moved in with Becca, Will and Gordie took the room he had, and Bean took the small guest room. She told them that due to religious reasons, she couldn’t room with any of the males, and Becca had already told them that she’d want to room with Sam, so they decided that that would be the easiest solution for everyone.

The same day that Bean and Gordie moved in, Sam decided to tell Allie about him having his colors but having no idea who it was. Maybe she had heard something? He told Becca about his decision to tell Allie, and she decided to come along for moral support. 

“You what?” Allie looked up at him in disbelief. “You don’t know who it is? Sam! This can be dangerous! Not touching your soulmate while the bond is developing is, literally, deadly.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Sam looked at her. “I don’t know enough though.”

That was how he found himself at the library with Allie and Becca that evening, reading through books and pamphlets about soulmates, and what to do in cases like these. Perhaps not exactly like this, but at least similar cases.

“Sam,” Becca touched his arm, handing him a pamphlet. Soulmates 101, the pamphlet that every household was initially required to keep at their homes. “Read the timeline. What day are you on?”

“Since getting colors? This is day six,” Sam frowned at her. “Why?”

“Just read it.”

Sam read the timeline of bonding, swallowing as the words slowly sunk in. He only had two more days before going without touching his soulmate would literally kill him. This was bad.

“Is there nothing we can do?” Allie signed, and Sam realized that Becca must’ve told her what she had read.

“Wait, I think I read something just now, about some suppressants? They stop your bond from developing, and they have it at most stores,” Sam told them, trying to think of anything else he could do. “I don’t want people to know.”

He knew that Becca could understand why he didn’t want that, but Allie frowned at him in confusion. To her credit, though, she didn’t talk against him. 

“What are they called?” she asked him, looking through the pamphlet he put away to read the one Becca had handed him. “Found them. They have a lot of side effects though.”

“Like?” Becca asked, a worried expression on her face. Sam grabbed the pamphlet back from Allie, reading the side effects out loud.

“Depression, dizziness, loss of colors, ADSS,” Sam read, but he was interrupted by Becca who was waving in front of his face.

“ADSS? Acute Desolated Soul Syndrome? Isn’t that, like, really bad?” she asked him, and Sam shrugged. He knew that ADSS mostly occurred in people who lost their soulmate either by death or breaking their bond, and he knew that it could be really bad. “Like, heart failure, type two diabetes, weakened immune system?”

“Yes,” Sam nodded, reading further. Once he had read everything, he started signing to them. “This is only if used for more than three consecutive weeks, I’ll be fine. I will tell you if I feel any different.”

“Okay, good,” Becca signed, letting out a small breath of relief. “I suppose we have to go to the store, then. Get you some meds.”

“I can’t believe they’re just selling this at the store,” Allie frowned at them. Sam couldn’t help but agree, but he was very thankful that they did. They all looked at each other, then walked out of the library and over to the store.

Becca decided that she could go inside while Allie and Sam waited outside. Sam looked over at his cousin, smiling softly.

“Thank you, for doing this,” he signed to her.

“Don’t thank me,” Allie shook her head. “But if you haven’t found your soulmate in a week, I’m telling Cassandra to tell everyone with known DSMD or anyone who has bonded without knowing how recently to tell her. You can’t keep using those.”

“That’s fair,” Sam nodded, even if he hated it. “She can’t say anything about me, though. Please.”

“Fine, I don’t know why you’re so afraid, but fine. I’ll tell her not to mention you. Just that someone has got their colors, and this is a dangerous situation.”

Sam guessed that that was the best outcome he could hope for, so he just had to accept that. Becca returned with a bottle of the suppressants, handing them to Sam with a ‘be careful’. 

After ten days of living at Cassandra and Allie’s, Sam had decided to join Becca on a walk to the school, as apparently ‘everyone was gathered there’. Well, he was kind of tired of spending most of his days inside with Becca and Allie anyway, so he wasn’t too hard to convince.

They walked past a group of people sitting on the ground, and he looked towards Becca in confusion.

“They’re chanting,” she told him with a small shrug. “Hoping for answers.”

He wasn’t entirely sure that that was the way to go for answers, but he wasn’t one to judge, so he just smiled and continued walking by. He was having a small conversation with Becca, when she suddenly turned her head, tugging at his arm at the same time.

Sam looked in the direction she was looking, and he frowned. A solar eclipse? Why wasn’t there any news about that before they left? Well, he supposed he had no way to figure out either, so he realized that he would just have to accept it.

“Lexie thinks it’s a sign,” Becca told him, and Sam raised his brows in surprise. As far as he knew, Lexie wasn’t exactly the most superstitious girl. “Gordie says that it’s predictable, that it’s not a sign, and that we shouldn’t stare.”

“Then I guess we better turn away,” Sam signed with a chuckle. Becca rolled his eyes at him, but nodded anyway. “Go home?”

“Go home,” Becca nodded, following him back to the house they were staying at. It didn’t take long before everyone else was there too, except for Will. Cassandra, Allie and Bean was talking about something, and Sam tried the best he could to read their lips, but it was hard. He could see Bean mention something about feeling better, and decided to try and join in on their conversation.

“I like the eggs. Coffee too,” he said, not signing along as he spoke. “I feel better already.”

By the look Gordie gave him, he supposed it didn’t make too much sense in the conversation, but he didn’t care. At least he had tried.

“Alright, uh, we’re headed back to town hall,” Becca started signing, thankfully distracting everyone from Sam’s attempt of joining in. “To see what’s hidden in those files. Why this place is exactly like home except with no parents and no smell.”

“Maybe it was our parents who stank,” Allie joined in on the signing, making a joke of the whole situation, probably to lighten the mood a bit. Sam chuckled softly, as did Cassandra, he noticed, as she started signing to.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would explain it,” she said, and from her expression, it looked like she was laughing. Sam smiled at her, grateful that they finally actually included him. 

He could see Gordie opening his mouth and saying something, but due to him facing the other way, Sam had no idea what he was actually saying. However, Sam noticed the look Gordie got from both Allie and Cassandra, subtly reminding him that Sam couldn’t hear. Apparently that was all it took, because Gordie turned towards him and repeated what he had said, trying to sign the word for ‘parallel’ as he spoke.

Even if the signing wasn’t correct, Sam at least understood that Gordie thought they were trapped in a parallel universe. Normally he would have laughed at this, but everything about the whole situation was too crazy to just ignore the fact that that could be true.

Sam didn’t exactly know how to reply, but he didn’t have to either, because Will came into the kitchen, sitting down and saying something way too fast for him to lip read. Not caring too much about it, Sam just drank his coffee in silence as he watched Luke show off what he supposed was his new, stolen sneakers. 

He let the others keep their conversation going, sinking back in his chair and just enjoying his coffee. However, not too long after, Cassandra waved her hand right in front of him, so he straightened up and leaned on the table to be able to see her sign.

“Okay, so, we agreed,” she said, signing at the same time. “We need to check out the water and the power plants.”

Sam nodded slightly in agreement as Gordie and Will said something, but he had no chance of catching what it was. Becca, however, seemed more sceptical, and Sam could tell that she was about to say something from her body language. 

“Maybe we should be more low-key,” she suggested. “Some people could freak out.”

Sam frowned at her words, trying to figure out what she meant, but looked over to Cassandra, who was already signing something else.

“-no reason to freak out. We’re just doing inventory.”

Sam briefly looked at Becca again through the corners of his eyes, before looking right back at Cassandra. He suspected she wasn’t done just yet.

“No, no,” she said, looking a little upset. “I’m the problem.”

Cassandra kept speaking without signing, Allie joining in, and Sam didn’t catch everything, but he managed to understand that Cassandra felt like she was intimidating and that she had gone too fast when they first got here. She then told them that she had to lay low for a while, and that it couldn’t look like her idea.

Sam ate the rest of his food without talking too much with anyone, took his suppressants, then he and Becca made their way to the town hall to look through the photos and documents there.

“You read faster than me,” Becca signed to him. “So I take photos, and you take documents. Okay?”

“Okay,” Sam nodded, sitting down behind the desk and pulling out loads of files and binders. This could take forever, and he was perfectly aware of that. After a little while, right in the middle of reading through some contracts, Becca put some pictures down in front of him. He peeked at her from behind the photos, watching her sign.

“That’s how it used to be,” she said, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Sad, huh?”

“It still looks like that, pretty much,” Sam said, smiling at her. He didn’t see too much of a difference, other than the pictures being black and white, and the obvious lack of cars. “More cars.”

“More assholes,” Becca countered, and yeah, Sam had to agree with her. Definitely more assholes now. She got up from where she was sitting, and Sam followed her with his eyes.

“My brother’s got a semi-automatic pistol,” he said, trying not to think about how Campbell had almost killed one of their family members with it. “There’s progress for you.”

“Do you think it was always a hypocritical fucking cesspool,” Becca started signing, and Sam couldn’t even help the grin on his face. “Or is that a new feature?” 

He gave her a small shrug, before giving her his opinion.

“It’s New England, those roots go way back.”

Becca was about to answer when she instead found her phone, reading something that Sam assumed was a text. She suddenly got this very worried expression on her face, and Sam waved his hand in between her phone and her face, asking her what’s wrong.

“Allie texted me, said she had to tell me something important,” she said, frown still present. “I got to go.”

“You want me to come with?” he asked, a bit confused. Usually, if there was something important that Allie had to tell Becca, she would tell Sam too.

“No, no, no. Stay, read through the papers, we’ll be fine,” she assured him, and even if he wasn’t exactly happy with her answer, he wasn’t going to protest. So he stayed there, reading through documents upon documents upon documents. Some more important than others, and some very important. 

One of his most important finds, if not the most important, was two letters. He read through them, frowning at what he read. His father and his uncle had apparently not been willing to pay for the smell removal, and he didn’t see why. Even creepier was the date on it, the date before they were taken.

After a while of reading, Sam frowned as he received a message from Campbell, telling him to give him his car keys. He wasn’t in the mood for a fight, so he told him to go to the Town Hall and meet him there.

Once Campbell showed up, Sam frowned a bit at the sight of him. Despite living in a town with now only 200 residents, Sam didn’t see his brother much. Thankfully. He found the keys from where he had placed them on a stack of files, handing them to him.

“What do you need the car for?” he asked him, hoping that Campbell managed to catch what he was signing.

“Game of fugitive in an hour,” his brother said, then looked around and started signing as he spoke, an ever-present smirk on his face. “What are you doing at Dad’s office?”

Sam sighed, not really wanting to tell him, but he was his brother, and he deserved to know why he was there. Reading through his father’s secret documents was bad enough, he didn’t want Campbell to be mad at him for it.

“I’m trying to figure out why we’re here, in this place,” he eventually admitted, but all he received from Campbell was this dumb look, telling him that that wasn’t enough information. Sam let out another sigh, turning around to get the documents he had found.

“First one is a letter from some guy named Pfeiffer demanding $1.5 million for the smell removal,” he said, trying to speak out loud as well as he could. He knew that he would be butchering some words, especially the name that he had never seen before. Once he had told him everything about the first document, he turned to the next one.

“The other is a response, refusing to pay,” he told Campbell, reluctant to share the next part. “Signed by Dad and Uncle Rodgers. Dated the day before we were taken.”

“So what?” Campbell signed, keeping up a tough fac.

“So, it could mean something,” Sam explained, telling him that the smell and they being taken on buses could probably be related somehow, but that he wasn’t sure.

Campbell, however, did not like what he had found, because he told Sam to destroy them, telling him that they would be blamed for everything. When Sam still didn’t want to destroy them, because he wanted to know what had happened, Campbell rolled his eyes at him.

“You’re a fucking moron,” he said, then starting to sign along his words. “You and I may hate each other, but we still share our father’s last name. You think things aren’t gonna get bad around here? Just wait. If we’re still stuck in this place, things are gonna get so bad so fucking fast.”

Sam watched him carefully, trying to decide when to interject, but Campbell didn’t seem to be finished just yet.

“And you,” Campbell pointed towards him. “Want to tell people that our family had something to do with this?”

As much as hate Sam hated to admit it, his older brother was probably right. If he told, and other people didn’t kill him for having something to do with it, he was sure Campbell would kill him for telling everyone. So he handed him the documents, watching as the most valuable find so far got destroyed right in front of him.

He looked at Campbell as he left, trying to think about what he was going to do. He had finally found something, something that could probably help them figure out what the fuck was happening, but he couldn’t tell anyone. Not if he wanted to stay alive. Frustrated, he slammed his fist down on the desk in front of him. What had just happened?

It was dark, both because of the night time, but also because a current lack of electricity when he walked home. Becca tried making conversation with him, but Sam wasn’t in the mood, he was too tired and too frustrated with everything.

However, Becca was persistent, waving her hands directly in front of his face. When he eventually got tired of it and looked up at her, she rolled his eyes.

“Allie and I read more about soulmates today. About you, and what could happen to you. Allie’s telling Cassandra tomorrow, you have to find them,” she said. Too tired to argue, Sam just nodded in agreement. He didn’t actually agree, but it was a lot easier than arguing with her. He had noticed himself growing more tired recently because of the suppressants anyway.

Becca seemed satisfied with the answer, so they signed good night to each other before Sam fell asleep shortly after.

Sam woke up to an empty bed next to him, so he took a quick shower and put on some clothes to find Cassandra and Allie already there, and by the look they both gave him when he walked in, he guessed it was about him and his situation.

“I’ll find an opportunity to ask anyone with DSMD or unexpected colors to come forward and tell me,” Cassandra told him, giving him a pitiful look. “This isn’t good for you, you know this.”

“I know,” Sam nodded, he felt it too, if he was being honest, but he had no idea what to do about it. He couldn’t exactly stop taking the suppressants either, not if he wanted to give himself at least a little more time to find a solution to this. 

Cassandra checked the clock on the wall, sighed, and then turned towards Sam.

“I’ll talk to you about this later, all the girls are having a meeting at the church about what happened last night,” she told him, and honestly. Sam could understand it. Last night had been wild, according to the very little Becca had managed to get through to him. 

“Yeah, we’ll talk later.”

Sam spent the morning reading some of the books that Allie and Cassandra had in their bookshelf, waiting for the sisters and Becca to return back home. Sam had initially wanted to talk to them as soon as they got back, but Cassandra went to her room, so he was alone with Becca and Allie. As much support as they could give him, they still couldn’t read Cassandra’s thoughts and tell them to him though.

It wasn’t long after the girls had returned that Kelly showed up at their door, asking for Cassandra. Sam frowned a bit. He didn’t know that they were friends, but he didn’t think too much of it. Another twenty minutes later, right after Kelly had left, Cassandra came back downstairs to the kitchen.

“I’ve found a way to tell everyone,” she told Sam with a grin.

Apparently, Cassandra had called everyone in the town to meet at church. Sam suspected that it wasn’t entirely because of him, but he was certain that it was going to be brought up.

Well, it turned out to be quite a lot of subjects to be brought up during the meeting. At first, Cassandra told them that they would be counting all food and supplies, and that once that was done, they would begin to ration. They would also be eating communally in the cafeteria, which wasn’t the worst idea ever, he had to admit. They would have jobs, they would have committees, and things were probably just going to be much more orderly. She then called for a vote, asking everyone in favor to raise their hands.

By some miracle, they actually managed to get it to a unanimous vote, everyone agreeing. Even Campbell and Harry, much to Sam’s surprise. 

“Okay, one last thing before you leave,” Cassandra spoke, looking briefly over at Sam. “I ask everyone who has been diagnosed with Desolated Soul Mutation Disorder, both types, and everyone who has gained their colors seemingly without explanation to text me. This is very important, you might save a life. Thank you.”

Sam did indeed feel a bit guilty that people with DSMD would have to come forward with it. It wasn’t generally talked too much about, and most people with the diagnoze was ashamed of it. It wasn’t fun to let everyone know that you would never have a soulmate, to let everyone know that unless you were born with colors, you would be colorless forever.

However, he knew that it was important, and he knew that it had to be done. He just hoped people would actually listen to her and come forward with it. Becca asked him if he wanted to hang around outside for a bit, and that they would probably hang the work lists soon anyway, so they could be there for it. He agreed, not exactly having anything else to do. 

As well as the work lists being posted, so were the flyers for prom, and Sam didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He pointed to one of the flyers, then started signing to Becca.

“Socialism and socializing, are we in an episode of Riverdale or in Soviet Russia?” he asked sarcastically. Yes, he totally agreed that socialism was probably their best bet right now, but a prom? Really?

“Well, I’d rather wash clothes all night in a basement than spend ten minutes in an artificial experiment of forced pair bonding and public humiliation with them,” Becca replied to him, Sam smiling at the humor in her answer. “So, yeah. That’s a no.”

Sam hadn’t really expected her to want to go to prom anyway, so he wasn’t surprised, but he figured that it would be slightly more lonely without her there. However, he was positively surprised to see that they were both placed at clean-up duty the next day, in the church.

The next day, as he was picking up bibles and hymnals from the floor and benches, he suddenly got this very weird and nauseating feeling. He sat down on one of the benches, trying to push away his thoughts. He looked down at the bible in his hands, feeling empty. 

Someone slammed their hand on the bench in front of him to get his attention, and he looked up to see Becca there. She was telling him off for taking breaks, saying that they would never get done if he kept doing that. 

Tired of lying to her, and to himself, about why he hated this so much, he decided to tell her the truth.

“I used to hate being here,” he admitted, thinking back to the times he had been to church previously. “Always felt so guilty.”

“Is this a bad story?” Becca asked him, and he kind of supposed it was, but when she continued on, he quickly shut her down. “Were you one of those little boys that the priest touched?”

“No,” he mouthed, frowning slightly. “He did tell me it was okay to be gay.”

“That’s progressive,” Becca told him, moving to sit down on the bench in front of him. Sam sighed, she still hadn’t heard the rest of it.

“As long as I didn’t act on it,” he continued on, receiving a ‘there you go’ from his best friend. “I used to wonder how I’d ever pull that off. Turns out I didn’t need to worry.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked him, her expression showing curiosity more than judgement. Sam didn’t know whether to be fully honest, but she was his best friend after all, she told him everything. Why wouldn’t he tell her everything?

“I’m gonna die a perfect Christian virgin, even a bonded one. That’s a thing too, right? Bonded people being even more ‘pure’?” he said, but then continued on with what he was saying previously. “But I’m actually kind of relieved. I mean, there’s obviously someone here who’s gay, gay and repressed, probably. And obviously my soulmate exists. But there’s no one I’d want. And no one who’d want me.”

He took a small break, feeling tears gathering up in his eyes.

“That’s the real thing, finding someone who loves you who you love back, and that’s crazy,” he said, swallowing back the tears that were threatening to spill. “Not even my soulmate would want me, Becca. Even outside of here, that would be crazy. Meeting someone like that. Anyway, the little time I have left now I can focus on the people who matter. The people who love me. Like you.”

Becca grabbed his hands from over the back of the bench, raising one of her own to sign.

“I do love you,” she confirmed. “But you’re not dying. You’re going to find them, and they’re going to like you almost as much as I do.”

Sam chuckled slightly at her stubbornness, already thinking that his next suggestion would be sort of crazy.

“I know you said you didn’t want to,” he started signing. “But think about changing your mind. Because I’d like to take you to prom.”

Becca shook her head and turned her body away from him. Sam sighed and shook her arm gently.

“We’re a better couple than almost everyone else in this town,” he told her, thinking about how it really was true. God, how easy wouldn’t it be if she was his soulmate? No one said it couldn’t be platonic. “We never fight.”

Becca laughed at his comment, hiding her face in the crook of her elbow before finally agreeing to go with him. She told him that they never had sex either, and Sam joked that except for no fighting, that was kind of like marriage. Becca sighed at him, but told him that she would be ready at seven before getting up and continuing to clean.

Seeing as he and Becca shared a room, it was a bit difficult for him to get ready for prom without ruining it for her, so he decided to use Will and Gordie’s room to get ready together with the two of them. Luckily for him, none of them actually cared that he was gay. It wasn’t like he was attracted to any of them anyway.

However, when the clock was nearing seven, he walked back to his shared room with Becca. He grinned at the sight of her, she looked absolutely beautiful.

“You look beautiful,” he told her, smiling as he looked at her dress once more. She gave him a shy thank you, telling him that he looked great as well. Sam smiled and reached out for her arm, linking them together.

The walk to the venue took longer than it would normally take, most likely due to Becca’s high heels and because they were signing and walking pretty slowly. It was nice, though, just taking their time as they were walking. 

Prom itself was pretty much as he had expected. The music was loud enough for him to feel some vibrations, but he could feel from how soft the vibrations were that it was also meant for people to be able to talk over.

Becca disappeared from him almost immediately, and he took in the view in front of him. Some people were dancing, and especially one person caught his eye. That green was truly horrendous, especially together with that bow tie and black dress pants. What on earth was Grizz thinking? Had he just decided to not wear his glasses and see the color combination of the outfit he had put on? 

Shaking his head slightly with an amused smile, he looked around at the rest of the people as well, walking to grab himself something to drink from the bar before sitting down at one of the tables together with Becca.

He put his own drink down, then asked if she wanted anything too.

“Coke,” she signed, and he nodded, going to the bar to grab her a rum and coke, bringing it back to her. She told him thanks, but immediately spit it out after having a taste. He frowned. What was wrong? 

“What?” he asked, and she told him that this was rum and coke. Well, yeah? “That’s what you asked for.”

“I asked for a coke,” she told him, glaring daggers at him. Sam didn’t know what had gotten into her, and in case she hadn’t realized, there were no parents there. She could drink without anyone telling her off. He told her as much, but she just shoved the drink back in his hands and told him that there was no need to be flippant before walking away.

Sam didn’t understand what he had done wrong, he just wanted to be nice, but oh well, apparently she wasn’t having the best day. When she started running, however, he understood that he should probably follow her and figure out what was going on.

“I told you I didn’t want to come to this thing,” she said, and Sam was certain that she was crying. 

“Why? We were having a good time!” he said with a smile, but when she looked just as upset, he mellowed down a bit and used his fingers to stroke her arm gently. “Hey, if you want a coke, I’ll get you a coke. I can even get you a diet coke or fanta. You want a fanta?”

He was truly just trying to be nice, trying to make up for whatever wrong he had done, but apparently Becca found his attempts to be a bit amusing. At least that’s what he thought, because of her smile. But when she opened her mouth to speak, he just felt sad.

“I don’t want to drink alcohol, because I don’t know how much time you have left. I want to remember as much of you as I can, without the influence of alcohol,” she admitted, signing as she spoke. “Only one person has come forward with DSMD, and it’s Olivia. She’s not on our list. I’m terrified of losing you, and having a drunken night as one of our last memories.”

“Drinking one glass of rum and coke isn’t going to make you black-out drunk,” he frowned, not really getting her logic. Yeah, he probably didn’t have that much longer to live. Why not enjoy it to the fullest?

“Why can’t you just respect one thing?” Becca asked him before storming off once again. Sam realized that he should probably have followed her, but he somehow also doubted that he was the person she wanted to see right there and then. That’s why he walked back to the prom, sitting down at the table where his drink was and sipping it slowly.

While he was sitting there, thinking about the fight he had just had with Becca, he could see someone moving the chair next to him. He looked up instinctively to see Grizz, still with the same shirt and bow-tie, but now also with grey embezzled sweatpants, to make the outfit just a tiny bit worse.

Confused as to what Grizz was doing there, sitting next to him, Sam looked at him sceptically. What was the taller man about to say? Why was he there? Grizz greeted him, so Sam nodded back, a bit unsure what to do.

“How do you like prom?” he eventually decided to ask, hoping that he could understand him. For people who weren’t close to him and used to his way of speaking, he knew it wasn’t always that easy to understand.

“What?” Grizz leaned closer, and Sam realized that, yeah, he was speaking something resembling total gibberish. He tried to speak more clearly when he spoke up again, hoping that he could make more sense.

“I’m sorry, I don’t speak very well,” he apologized, before repeating his question. “How do you like prom?”

“Oh no,” Grizz perked up at his apology. “You speak fine, it’s- the music’s really loud.”

Sam had to admit that reading Grizz’s lips was a bit of a challenge, he didn’t enunciate too much, and probably mumbled a bit when he spoke. He already knew that from school though, and if he focused really hard, he managed to understand him quite well.

He nodded with a small smile at the music being too loud comment, though, looking down at the table for a brief second. When he looked up at the other boy again, Grizz was signing the word ‘bullshit’ to him, and Sam chuckled a bit in confusion.

“What?” he asked him, though inaudibly. It was one of the words most people managed to get without him having to actually use his voice.

“It’s the only sign that I know,” Grizz told him, and Sam had to laugh a bit at it. Of course that would be the only sign he knew. A small part of him knew that Grizz was probably very aware of what the sign for ‘faggot’ was too, considering who his friends were.

After a couple of seconds where none of them did anything, Grizz turned around in his chair and grabbed Sam’s attention.

“You think you could teach me something else?” Grizz asked, and Sam was quite surprised at the request, but he supposed he could do that. After a bit of contemplation, he signed ‘I hated high school’, not speaking the words audibly as he signed. “What does that mean?”

“I hated high school,” he told him, and Grizz looked a bit unsure as to what to say and do with this information, but he ended up giving a half-nod and half-shrug in what Sam supposed was agreement. That was all he spoke with him, though, before Grizz put a hand on his shoulder as he got up from his chair, walking away from him.

If Sam didn’t know better, he would say that that simple touch, a hand on the shoulder, it burned. It burned, but in a very positive way.

If Sam didn’t know better, he would almost think that that was how the touch of a soulmate was supposed to feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any feedback, questions or response at all, please leave a comment below! I hope you liked this chapter, please give me a kudos if you did! Lots of love! <3


	3. Burnt Matches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam still has no idea who his soulmate is, he just knows that he doesn't have too much time until he has to figure it out? Oh, and there can't possibly be any guys in New Ham who want him. Obviously.

Sam wasn’t home late from prom, he wasn’t, but he was still awake when Allie and Will rushed out of the house in the middle of the night. Deciding that he should give Becca some space, he had come to the conclusion that sleeping on the couch would be his best option. However, when nearly all of his housemates ran out of the house, crying and, what Sam assumed was screaming, he knew he had no way of falling asleep.

A little after Allie and Will ran out the door, Becca walked downstairs to him. As he looked at her, he noticed that she, too, was crying. What was going on?

“Gordie couldn’t reach Cassandra, so he went out to look for her,” Becca signed, sitting down next to him. “He found her. Dead. He just called Allie to tell her. Cassandra was shot.”

Time stopped. Sam couldn’t breathe, and his brain stopped functioning. Cassandra. Shot. His cousin. Dead. He tried so very hard to not think about Campbell and their old bird, tried so hard not to think about the gun he pulled out in church. It couldn’t be Campbell, it couldn’t. Even though he knew fully well that it most definitely could.

“Sam?” Becca touched his arm, but Sam couldn’t respond. He swallowed hard, trying to fight the tears that were quickly streaming down his cheeks.

“I- I don’t know what to do,” Sam signed, feeling both empty and too filled-up with emotions at the same time. “She’s really dead? If not, this is a very bad joke.”

“I would never joke about this,” Becca told him before wrapping her arms around him as he cried. Cassandra had always been like the big sister he never had, and Sam loved her dearly. This wasn’t fair. Cassandra shouldn’t be the one dead. 

He stayed up for the rest of the night as well, waiting for updates from Allie and Gordie, talking to Becca, and trying to find out how on earth they were going to survive without Cassandra there. Will had been the one to send out the message, that the next day a funeral would be held. That Cassandra had been killed. The shock that was slowly taking over the entire town was overwhelming.

Gordie had taken on the role of crime scene investigator, volunteering to remove the bullets from Cassandra’s body and inspect the crime scene further. Sam had no idea how he was able to do that, how he was able to be so professional about it. It was obvious that Gordie had been in love with her; he didn’t deserve this either.

The more Sam thought about it, the more convinced he was that Campbell had been the one to shoot her. It was the most logical explanation, at least to Sam. Campbell was a diagnosed psychopath, with a deep hate for his cousin. It made perfect sense in Sam’s head. If Campbell actually had done it, though, Sam had a very bad feeling about his brother’s relationship. Elle was definitely in danger.

“What are you thinking about?” Becca waved a hand in front of him, and Sam looked up at her. “You turned pale.”

“Just thinking about Campbell,” he signed, not in the mood to elaborate any further. He was going to tell her about his suspicions eventually, but he figured that he should probably wait until after the funeral. Wait until he could tell Allie and Gordie, too.

“Okay?” Becca frowned, obviously prompting him to tell her more, but Sam just shook his head and mouthed ‘later’ to her. Because he would tell her, but not until after he had seen his brother. Not until after he had made sure that he was just as evil as he had always been.

The twelve hours between when he first heard about Cassandra’s death and her funeral felt like days, months, years even. He had never known that time could move that slowly, and he never wanted it to do that again. 

When he thought about some of the responsibilities other people had when it came to the funeral, though, he almost considered himself lucky. At least he wouldn’t have to dig her grave, or carry her out. At least he wouldn’t have to pray for her. He could just sit there in silence, do what he did best. Watch.

The funeral itself was also quite long, heavy and emotional. Allie spoke, cried and screamed, and even if he couldn’t hear it, he knew that the sounds would be heartbreaking. Becca served as his interpreter during the most important parts, making sure that he wasn’t feeling left out. 

It was hard for all of them, watching the person who had taken on the responsibility of keeping the town running being lowered into the ground. It was even harder for Sam, who watched his beloved cousin being covered with dirt. It was the hardest for Allie, who had to watch her sister and best friend wrapped in a sheet that would never come off.

Almost no one showed up to work the next couple of days, making it so that Sam and his friends had a lot more to do. It took a lot of energy and time, and Sam and Becca still hadn’t really talked about anything of what was going on. However, when he walked into their room to find her reading a book about soulmates, he figured that this was their opportunity.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked, stopping in front of her to be able to see her easier. She barely looked up at him, though, not answering. He smiled, joking with her. “We kinda have to do it before I die.”

“Not funny,” she signed, and he let out a sigh. He thought that it was, and he was the person who was in danger here after all. “I’m so frustrated that I’m not able to figure this out. This is almost unheard of, right? Unreciprocated soulmates. Why did you have to end up with one?”

“That’s life I guess,” he smiled sadly. As much as he had tried to ignore it, the suppressants he was using had really started to impact him. He was dizzy, dizzy enough to faint once while working that day, he was constantly tired, and the day before he had thrown up three times. Not to talk about the fact that he could barely stomach any food.

Deciding that he had in fact promised to tell Becca if he felt any different, he told her what was going on. His friend grew more and more worried the more he signed, that much was obvious. They both knew that his only other choice was unbearable pain and eventual death, though. Eventually, Becca just put his head on his shoulder, Sam holding her as she cried.

Maybe it should have been the other way around, Becca holding Sam as he cried, but for some reason, he just knew that life wasn’t over for him just yet. He wasn’t sad, he wasn’t that afraid, because even though things looked really dark right there and then, he had this feeling that a light would show up soon.

Even if it wasn’t the light he was looking for, Becca had somehow lit a match in the darkness. They were both picking up trash, when she suddenly stopped Sam and said she had something to tell him.

“I met Kelly today when I was out taking photos, capturing how horrible this town has become,” she said, and Sam was confused.

“Okay?” why did she have to tell him this?

“She asked me how you were coping, and if you have found your soulmate yet.”

Sam stared at her in surprise. That wasn’t possible. How did Kelly know that? Becca kept on signing, hopefully giving him an answer to that.

“I told her no, and asked her how she knew. She said that she had seen me in the store that day, picking up the suppressants. To be fair, she didn’t know that they were for you until she saw you fainting yesterday.”

Oh, that was true. Kelly had been the one to help him after he fainted, bringing him water and finding him a place to relax. 

“Well, anyway,” Becca continued, looking at Sam. “She offered to be your doctor, really study and read up on soulmates. Honestly, Sam, I think she’s your best shot.”

“I think you’re right,” Sam eventually had to agree, after a little hesitation. Kelly Aldrich was the ex girlfriend of Harry Bingham. Would he be able to trust her? “But come on, it’s lunch time.”

Due to people not actually showing up to work, the quality of their food had dropped significantly. Sam and Becca witnessed that first hand when they ate in the cafeteria after cleaning the entire day. 

“This is rock hard,” she told him as she took a bite of the food, and Sam couldn’t even tell what it was supposed to be. He just shrugged, they didn’t have much of a choice. The food wasn’t bad, no, not really. Not when compared to what happened during the meal. Sam could see someone argue at the back, and as they became physical, one of them being shoved to the back, it happened again.

A gunshot.

Once again, he instinctively threw Becca down onto the ground with him. Then two more people pulled out guns, and Sam was at a loss of what to do. None of them seemed to be willing to drop the gun, and then a girl suddenly showed up with a bat. He had to get people out of there. Had to get his potential soulmate out of there.

“Fire alarm,” he signed to Becca, motioning for her to crawl over there together with him. They hastily, but carefully, crawled their way over, successfully setting off the alarm just as Will had stepped in between the two people holding the guns.

Sam had never seen his schoolmates hurry out of the cafeteria as fast as they did then, dropping everything in their hands and running out of there. He shot Becca a look. West Ham wasn’t safe, and all the paranoid citizens only made it worse. They had to find a solution to this.

Becca had been the one to suggest a meeting between him, Will, Gordie and herself. Bean didn’t have too much interest in it, she figured, as the girl had been saying she wanted to be as impartial as possible in the politics part of this. They would be asking someone from The Guard to be there too, getting a different perspective.

That’s how they all ended up in the Pressman kitchen, including Luke and Grizz. Sam figured that that wouldn’t be too bad. Grizz seemed to be able to think for himself, and Luke wasn’t as stupid as Clark and Jason, he supposed.

“Okay,” Becca spoke and signed at the same time. “I asked you all to meet here, because this town is on its way to hell. People are rioting, there are guns everywhere, and people don’t show up to work. We need to find a solution, now that Cassandra is gone.”

“So, like, finding a new leader?” Luke asked, Becca interpreting for Sam. Sam nodded, then started signing to them all, as he knew that Becca would say it out for them.

“Yes, we need someone to take charge, to decide the rules. Someone who they will listen to. Someone that they’re not afraid of, but not someone that they’re too comfortable around either. We need someone who is able to earn their respect,” he stated, looking at all of them. He caught Grizz’s eye as he spoke, the taller boy nodding along to his words. Sam had to hold back a smile at the feeling, the feeling of another match being lit up in his darkness.

Grizz nodded slightly at his words, but murmured something that wasn’t clear enough for Sam to read on his lips. He looked to Becca, waiting for her to tell him what Grizz had just said.

“He said that he reckons the entire Guard is too stupid for this,” Becca said with a small smile, making Sam chuckle as well. It was true. They needed someone with the brains, the attitude and the kindness that Cassandra displayed.

“What about Helena?” Luke suggested, but Becca quickly shook her head and said that she had already taken on a way too religious role, and that she was one of the few people objective enough to be able to defend the eventual murderer in a potential trial. She couldn’t do that if she was their leader.

They went through their options, when Grizz looked up to the ceiling. He looked Sam in the eyes before speaking up, this time clear enough for Sam to read his lips.

“What about Allie?” Grizz said, and Sam shrugged. That wasn’t a half-bad idea, actually. She wasn’t overly popular, she did have an attitude, but she was also kind. 

“I think that would be a good idea,” Sam signed, explaining to them that as Cassandra’s sister, some of them would probably have some kind of automatic respect for her. It just made sense, and as far as Sam knew, it was their best suggestion yet.

After a small discussion, they all agreed. Allie had to be the one. Gordie swallowed as he got up from the table, getting ready to go talk to Allie about this. 

“She’ll be hard to convince,” Will said, earning small nods of agreement from the others. Allie would be hard to convince, but she would do it, if she just realized that this was what had to happen.

They sat there in pretty much silence for five minutes until Gordie came back downstairs to them.

“She clearly doesn’t want to,” Gordie admitted, and all of them kind of sunk back in their seats. “I think I’ve managed to at least somewhat convince her though.”

As to prove his words, Allie walked downstairs shortly after, looking at all of them. Sam couldn’t catch every word of what she said, but he managed to understand enough of it to realize that she was asking for confirmation that they all agreed that she had to be the one.

She also told them that if they really gave her that responsibility, they would have to be there for her, every second of every minute of every day. Will and Gordie were quick to tell her that they would, but Allie told them that it wasn’t that easy, that they had to think about it. It surprised Sam a bit that Luke was the first to speak up that they were going to protect her. Luke was probably the biggest wildcard there, together with Grizz.

“Okay,” Allie said, nodding at them. She then pointed at Grizz and Luke, tears still gathered in her eyes. “Then I want you two to live here.”

Grizz and Luke looked to each other for a brief second before nodding, telling them that of course they would. It would probably be an upgrade from the bigger houses they were probably staying at anyway, Sam realized.

“Cool,” Allie sighed. “Uhm, I take Cassandra’s room, Will and Gordie can take my room, and you guys can take the big guest room. Someone call for a meeting at the church as soon as possible.”

She then started walking upstairs, and Sam hadn’t even realized that she was still talking to them until Becca signed to him that Allie had continued speaking.

“Fuck all of you, and I mean that,” she had said, and Sam got it. He really did. Her sister was dead, and now she had to play hero and taking over. He would hate to be in her position. 

Becca smiled at Sam, telling him that she had to go do something, then she left. Luke went to get his and Grizz’s stuff, and Will and Gordie called everyone in for a church meeting the next day, before going to move their stuff into their new room. That left Grizz, who was waiting to follow Allie if she were to go out, and Sam alone at the table.

They looked at each other for a little while, none of them saying anything. Grizz smiled softly at him before the smile was replaced by a small frown.

“Do you think we did the right thing?” Grizz asked him.

“With Allie?” Sam replied, then shrugging a bit. “Maybe. I think she could be a good leader.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Grizz nodded. “You know, you would have been a good leader too.”

“Me?” Sam chuckled, shaking his head. “No, I can’t even talk for myself, I can’t talk for a whole town.”

“Yeah, is, is it hard? Talking and understanding?” at first, Sam was a bit unsure of Grizz’s intentions, but he could see that the other boy was only curious. He wanted to know more.

“Sometimes, because I don’t know how my words sound,” Sam admitted. “And I read lips, but I need to focus very hard. It gets tiring.”

Grizz nodded, and Sam could see him thinking. But then Luke came downstairs, saying something to Grizz, and then he just got a quick bye before he too disappeared. A part of Sam was relieved that Grizz still had his glasses and that he wasn’t his soulmate, but an even bigger part of him was wondering ‘what if’. What if Grizz was is soulmate? What if it was simply unreciprocated? Maybe the brunet had DSMD but didn’t know? Would Sam be happy if that turned out to be true?

Well, Grizz was good looking, and he was a lot smarter than his friends, but Sam still didn’t see them working like that. Grizz was straight, first of all. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Grizz usually hooked up with a new girl every party. It was almost too bad, because Sam found that he felt much more at ease with Grizz around. It would just have been easier.

But no, Sam didn’t think he would be happy with Grizz. Not because of Grizz’s personality, but because Grizz was either straight, or not interested. Why would he be anyway? One of the cool football players falling for the nerdy deaf kid just doesn’t happen outside of stupid teenage rom-coms. 

With a sigh, Sam figured that he should probably go make himself useful. He had no idea exactly what he could do, though, so he ended up just going upstairs and trying to keep himself occupied. Not really having anything interesting at all to do, he just gave up and let the fatigue and tiredness he felt take over.

He awakened to Becca shaking his shoulder, looking very concerned. Sam frowned at her, yawning before sitting up. 

“What’s wrong?” he signed. It was still light outside, he had just been taking a nap, she had no reason to be so concerned.

“Church meeting is in half an hour,” Becca said, and Sam frowned. The church morning wasn’t until tomorrow. Becca could apparently see his confusion, because she clarified. “You just slept for 16 hours. You slept through dinner yesterday and breakfast today, I tried waking you, but you just seemed so exhausted.”

“I was,” Sam said honestly, still a bit confused that he had been sleeping for so long. Well, he supposed it was better than fainting and being in pain. He stood up, finding some clothes. “I feel a lot better now.”

“Good,” Becca smiled, grabbing her bag and pulling out a sandwich. “Will told me to give you this.”

He hadn’t even realized how hungry he was until he saw the sandwich, so he gave Becca a hug before digging in. However, he wasn’t even halfway through before he started feeling nauseous, so he handed it back to Becca with an apologetic smile. He wanted to eat more, but he physically couldn’t.

“Seeing you like this is killing me,” Becca admitted, and Sam looked down. He knew that. But he also knew that Becca would do better without him than he would do without Becca, so at least they were lucky that he was the one who was dying and not her. 

Twenty minutes later, the entire town was once again sitting in church, this time listening to Allie as she spoke to them. She told them that she would be taking over for Cassandra, and what she wanted to do. No one objected, to Sam’s surprise, but he still knew that this probably wouldn’t be as peaceful as it seemed.

Sam decided to go home during lunch, still feeling quite exhausted. It had been 16 days since he got his colors, and he didn’t really have too much time before he would have to stop taking his suppressants for a week, and then start again. It wasn’t healthy, but it was currently their best shot.

When he got back to his cousin’s house - or now it was his house too, he supposed - he noticed that he wasn’t alone. Grizz was there, standing in front of some boxes.

“Hey,” Sam said out loud, trying to get Grizz’s attention. He looked a bit lost. “Need help?”

Grizz turned around, seemingly a bit startled.

“Sam! Hi,” he smiled, scratching the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. I don’t remember where I am supposed to stay, and therefore, have no idea where to put my stuff.”

“Oh,” Sam smiled back at him, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach. He couldn’t go crushing on people who weren’t his soulmate right now. “It’s upstairs, door to the right.”

“Thanks,” Grizz said, and the two just stood there. None of them saying anything else, and the pause between them slowly growing into an awkward silence.

“I can take a box for you if you want,” Sam blurted out, not really thinking it through. He was exhausted, he had barely any energy left at all, but still he wanted an excuse to keep talking to Grizz. He had no idea what was going on with him.

“Really? Yeah, thanks, that’d be great,” Grizz said, almost too fast for Sam to catch. “Of course, only if you want, I can do it myself, of course.”

“It’s fine, I like to help,” Sam said, grabbing one of the boxes. Their fingers brushed against each other, and Sam still couldn’t help but notice how much it burnt. Of course, all touches were supposed to burn right after you get bonded, but this was so different. It didn’t hurt, it was just… warm and welcoming, but with a little sting.

He walked upstairs and stopped in front of the door to the guest room, pointing at it.

“In there?” Grizz asked, opening after receiving a confirming nod from Sam. Sam followed him inside, and put the box down.

“I’m heading to mine and Becca’s room,” he said awkwardly, pointing towards the nextdoor room with his thumb. “Just go inside if you need anything, knocking doesn’t help, obviously.”

He was happy that his comment earned him a chuckle, noticing that people usually were more comfortable with commenting on his hearing if he did so himself first.

“Will do, thanks,” Grizz said, patting Sam on the shoulder. “You’re a cool guy, Sam.”

Taken aback by the random compliment, Sam just walked out of the room without saying anything, he smiled though. As he walked into his and Becca’s room, he felt slightly more energized than he had when he walked through the front door. He just laid down on the bed for about an hour or so, browsing on his phone, when Becca walked inside.

“Hey,” she said with a small smile. “You look a bit better?”

“I feel a bit better,” Sam confirmed, sitting up a bit. He didn’t really feel like he was dying anymore, so that was at least good.

“That’s great, so uhm, Elle has taken initiative to have a movie night tonight, hopefully have one weekly,” Becca signed, and Sam raised an eyebrow at her. Tonight? The day after Cassandra’s funeral? Wasn’t supposed to grieve and shit. She seemingly understood his trail of thoughts, seeing as she smiled and signed on. “Yeah, I know, Kelly said something about distracting us and having fun together. Anyway, do you want to go?”

“No, don’t think so,” Sam shook his head with a frown. “I don’t feel that well just yet. I’m just going to stay in.”

“Sure, that makes sense,” Becca nodded, walking over to the bed and sitting down on it. “Kelly has started to read up on stuff, gotten access to the hospital, okay? Things will be better soon.”

“I know they will, you worry way more than I do,” he signed back with a grin. “I appreciate it, I’m very lucky to have a best friend like you.”

“I know. You are,” Becca smiled and took his hand. “Love you. I need to get going, though. I’m meeting up with Kelly.”

“Oh, have fun,” Sam smiled. “Say hi and thank you for me, okay?”

“Of course, see you later!”

With that, Becca was out the door again, and Sam was once again left alone in their room. He stayed there until dinner-time, when he figured that he probably had to go do something. If the whole soulmate-thing didn’t make him sick, the loneliness would. At dinner, he sat with Allie, Will, Becca and Kelly, trying to keep up with their conversation. However, he was completely unable to, so he wasn’t there for more than 10 or 15 minutes before deciding to leave.

As he was on his way back to the house, he suddenly noticed that someone was walking next to him. He turned to look, seeing Grizz catching up to him, seemingly jogging. 

“Hey,” Grizz said, blushing a bit. Sam nodded back, a small smile on his lips. Why was Grizz walking with him? Had Becca put him up to this?

“Did Becca tell you to follow me?” Sam asked with a small sigh. It would be so typical of Becca, she was pretty overprotective of him at times. Grizz however, just looked confused.

“What? No, I just,” Grizz reached out for Sam’s upper arm and stopped. Sam realized it probably was to make talking easier. “I was finished, and I saw you leave, and I thought that hey, Sam’s cool. I’ll walk with him.”

“Okay,” Sam chuckled, and this time it was he who was blushing, he rolled his eyes a bit before starting to walk again, a bit more slowly this time. Grizz smiled and followed his pace, and Sam made sure to look over at him in case he was trying to talk.

“So,” Grizz looked at him. “Movie night tonight. You’re going, right?”

“No,” Sam shook his head, not noticing how Grizz’s smile faltered a bit. “I’m not in the mood for socializing.”

“Oh,” Grizz nodded a bit. “You know, me neither, but the guard has to be there to check for guns.”

“Yeah,” he didn’t really know how to reply, so Sam just left it at that.

“Maybe, if you want, we can sit by ourselves in the church and watch the movie? If you don’t feel like socializing.”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that. You can sit with your friends and have fun. No need to sit with the deaf kid, they probably haven’t texted it anyway,” Sam said, or at least, attempted to say. It took a little while, and he didn’t know how much of it Grizz would understand, but he tried.

“Yeah, okay,” Grizz smiled back at Sam. “Offer still stands if you change your mind, though. I’ve been told I have a really comfy shoulder to lean on.”

“The girls must love that,” Sam grinned back at him with a chuckle. They had arrived at the house, so he opened the door and held it for Grizz. Grizz muttered something Sam couldn’t see, so he frowned.

“I can’t understand you,” he said out loud.

“Yeah, no, it was nothing. Talk to you later, Sam.” 

Grizz made his way to the living room, and Sam made his way upstairs again. He had no idea why, but he suddenly felt a lot worse. Deciding not to worry anyone, he just laid on his bed though, feeling sick and dizzy all at the same time.

He had no idea how long he’d stayed like that, but he knew that he must have had fallen asleep at some point, because he woke up by Grizz sitting next to him and touching his arm.

“Dude, you’re sweating like crazy. Are you okay?” Grizz asked, his eyes wide in concern. Sam nodded tiredly, signing that he wanted water, in a desperate hope that Grizz somehow would understand. Grizz seemingly did so, as he walked away and returned moments later with water.

Sam accepted the glass thankfully, sitting up straight. 

“Thank you, I’m fine,” Sam smiled a bit, hoping that Grizz would believe him. He turned to check the clock, seeing that movie night was starting in forty minutes. “Don’t you have to go? Movie night?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to double check that you wanted to stay home,” Grizz nodded, looking him up and down. He frowned a bit before speaking again. “But yeah, you probably should. You seem sick.”

And so he did, he stayed at home, not really doing much. He took a shower and changed his clothes, but that was about it. Eventually, he went downstairs to see if he was the only one at home, but he found Gordie. Gordie was sitting in a room, surrounded by all the confiscated guns, trying to find the gun and bullets matching the one that killed Cassandra. 

“Anything yet?” he asked him, but Gordie told him that there was nothing. Sam nodded a bit, looking over the guns and all the familiar names. His eyes immediately stopped at the most familiar one. Campbell Eliot.

“He stole this, you know?” he said, briefly touching the bag holding the gun. “My parents never had a gun in my house. Not with my brother there.”

Gordie looked up at him in surprise, probably wanting him to continue, but Sam chickened out.

“The movie should be over soon. Let me know when everyone’s back.”

He had to tell them the truth about Campbell, he knew he had to. Campbell wasn’t only a danger to Elle, he was a danger to the whole town. And possibly Cassandra’s killer. It wasn’t exactly a well-hidden secrets that the two cousins despised each other.

Gordie let him know that everyone had returned about twenty minutes later, and Sam asked him if he could make everyone gather in the living room. It was time to tell them about Campbell.

So he gathered them all in the living room, telling them about their bird. The bird that he once saw missing from its cage, until he finally saw Campbell. Campbell was cutting his wings off, making him walk, watching the bird stumble and fall over. He then told them that his parents were worried and got him tested, hoping that he was just another difficult kid without any serious issues. But no such luck.

“He’s a psychopath,” he signed, Becca translating for him. He noticed Grizz saying ‘fuck’ in the background, and Sam decided to continue, making sure that they knew what they were dealing with.

He then spoke aloud, telling them that they had to understand that Campbell doesn’t think or feel like normal people. He could mimic stuff like guilt and empathy, but he didn’t feel it. He couldn’t feel it. He was a danger to all of them.

“You’re saying he killed Cassandra?” Will spoke up, and Sam didn’t want to outright say that he did indeed believe so.

“I don’t know, I just know he’s a monster,” Sam said, feeling his eyes tearing up a bit more. “And we’re locked up in a room with him.”

He was grateful that he was the only one in that room who had actually been locked up in a room with Campbell, because if they had experienced that, they probably would be feeling a lot more scared. There had been numerous times where his parents had found Sam in the bathtub, Campbell trying to push him under. Sam just hoped he was the only one who would ever experience that, even though a small voice in his head told him he should be concerned about Elle. 

Allie was the first to leave the room, Gordie and Bean following shortly after. That left Sam, Becca, Grizz and Will downstairs still.

“Where’s Luke?” Becca asked Grizz, signing at the same time so that Sam could follow.

“He wanted to stay with Helena tonight,” Grizz shrugged, a small smirk present. “I’m not complaining, I get the whole room to myself.”

“Lucky, I have to stay with this guy,” Becca grinned, rolling her eyes and shoving Sam lightly. Sam rolled his eyes and scoffed. He was a great roommate, thank you very much. At least he didn’t talk anyone’s ears off. 

“It can’t be as bad as sharing with Luke, he snores like a fucking chainsaw,” Grizz laughed, and Sam was grateful for Becca’s signing, because he was too distracted by Grizz’s laugh to really focus on his lips and what he was saying.

“Yeah, Sam doesn’t snore, I’ll give him that. Hey! Maybe he can share with Luke? He won’t hear any snoring,” she smirked, making Sam slap her shoulder.

“I bet you, he’d still wake up from the whole bed vibrating by the snores,” Grizz smiled, making eye contact with him. Sam smiled back, chuckling a bit. “No, it’s fine, and you know, he wants to spend most nights at Helena’s anyway.”

“Poor Helena, then,” Sam signed, smiling at Grizz who nodded with a grin. None of them had even noticed Will getting up and going to bed, but Sam and Becca looked at each other.

“We should head to bed,” Becca signed, speaking at the same time so that Grizz would hear.

“Yeah, probably smart. Glad to see you looking better, Sam,” Grizz smiled, walking before them to the bathroom.

“Looking better? What’s he talking about?” Becca signed, and Sam rolled his eyes at her. She shouldn’t worry so much.

“I just fell asleep with my clothes on, and I probably looked like a mess when he walked into our room, it’s fine now, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Just, you promised to let me know if you feel any worse, remember?”

“Of course. I will, I promise.”

The next day, Sam was woken up by Becca yet again. Seemed like that was the default way for waking up nowadays.

“You kind of missed some important stuff this morning,” Becca signed, making Sam rub his eyes and sit up a bit straighter to pay better attention to her. “They’re making an arrest.”

“An arrest?” Sam signed with a frown.

“Yeah, Cassandra’s murderer. Greg Dewey. He apparently confessed to Harry,” Becca signed, and just as Sam was about to reply that maybe trusting Harry wasn’t their smartest idea ever, she signed again. “He seemed really torn up about it, according to Gordie. The guard is arresting him tomorrow, pre-dawn raid or something.”

“Wow, okay,” Sam signed, trying to come to terms with the new information. Greg Dewey? How was he capable of doing something like that.

“Yeah, apparently Grizz has handcuffs. Totally real handcuffs, for no reason at all,” Becca signed, and Sam’s mind immediately went to some dark places. He could definitely think of some purposes for those handcuffs, but none that he would voice to Becca.

“People are full of surprises, I guess,” Sam shrugged, trying to keep away the blush slowly creeping up his neck and face.

“Anyway, Allie and I are going to the school to check his school records, want to come?” Becca asked him, Sam thought about it, but figured that he wasn’t in the mood, so he shook his head.

“Okay, text me, bye,” Becca hugged him and walked out. Sam spent the day going to the library and reading, hoping to find something, anything, interesting to do. He was bored out of his mind, but also exhausted, all at the same time. He eventually found a book to occupy him, not even noticing that he had skipped both lunch and dinner. 

The next day, week even, was a lot more eventful. Dewey was going to trial, with Helena as his attorney. The guard was accused of violence, and after an intense trial, Dewey was convicted of the murder of Cassandra. It was now up to Allie to decide what his sentence would be. But not only that, she would also have to decide what to do about Campbell and Harry, who Dewey had named as his accomplices. 

Sam didn’t know whether he believed Campbell’s claims of not being involved or not. No matter what he believed, he was still arrested, and Sam knew that would be for the better. Everyone would be better off without Campbell roaming around freely. 

Worst part about trial week? Sam could no longer use his suppressants, and he was really feeling the effects on his body. Who even knew if he would survive? And that was his last thought before falling to the ground just as Campbell was being guided out of church.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I love you all, please leave a comment if you liked it and want me to continue!
> 
> If you want to get to know me better, you can always go to my tumblr @samandgarebear. 
> 
> Love you xx

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please leave a comment and a kudos, so I can see if this is something I should continue!
> 
> Please check out my Tumblr: samandgarebear.tumblr.com


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